Mindgasm: A Retrospective

Hello Mindgasm Explorers!.  Advanced Player here with a look back and a look ahead to Mindgasm from my perspective.  As of October 6th 2022, Mindgasm became 2 years old!  I was lucky enough to have joined about a month after Mindgasm was created back in October 2020.  In light of the anniversary, I decided to put my thoughts down as a lot has changed in a short amount of time. Rather than droning on like an old man remembering the good ol’ days, I thought I would touch upon some key areas that I hope can be beneficial.  Beneficial for those curious about Mindgasm and beneficial to those more experienced players wanting to know what the future holds.

  • How my whole journey started.
  • Discovering Mindgasm, Fears or Folly.
  • My Mindgasm journey.
  • Myself: Before vs. After Mindgasm.
  • How did the learning go?
    • What was Easy/Hard?
    • How did the pleasure grow over time?
    • Getting stuck and overcoming.
    • What did I learn from it all?
    • Could I have done this on my own?
    • What was the impact of the growing community?
    • Controlling the mind vs. controlling the body

How my whole journey started.

My journey was a mix of a few different scenarios and stages in my life.  In my youth I encountered a few porn videos where the woman would use toys or her finger(s) on the man.  He appeared to enjoy it and it kinda got me curious. Why would that be?  Fast forward a few years where I was dating a cute frisky red head, she broke some taboo walls with me.  We were deep in the thralls of love making and she slipped her finger in my back door.  I had an initial shock to the sneak attack.  But then I was also surprised that it didn’t hurt, in fact it kinda felt nice.  I found that I didn’t really hate it.  I began to do some research as to why this was an area of some pleasure and not pain.  That my friends was the first time I had learned about the prostate and the secret pleasures it posses.

I wanted to experiment more, but on my own until I had a better understanding of it all.  Plus at the time for me I felt this was a rather taboo subject, especially since I liked it.  I tried various small toys I could find online, my fingers, a skinny dildo, and a few other odd looking devices.  Nothing really seemed to work for me.  Until I stumbled across this small medical device called an aneros.  I began to read reviews on this toy and the pleasures many men claimed it gave them.  I was instantly hooked and wanted that too.  Not only were they describing an credible orgasm but something they called a Super Orgasm or Super-O.


The way these Super-O’s were described seemed other worldly and almost too good to be true.  But so many different stories described their Super-O experience, I figured it had to be true.  I was hooked and wanted that.  So I bought my first aneros device.  I was so excited for it to arrive in the mail I could hardly contain myself.  The big moment came, it arrived in the mail.  I followed the instructions used some lube and slid the toy in.  It felt so weird and foreign to me.  I figured give it a few seconds to a few minutes and I would be joining the Super-O club. Sadly, not a damn thing happened.  I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong.  I tried 2 more times on different days and nothing.  Not even close to when my girlfriend used her finger.  So I threw away the aneros toy, I figured it was a lie and worthless.

But I just couldn’t get the detailed accounts and stories out of my head.  It had to be real.  So I went online and bought a different model.  I thought maybe I just needed to find the right one. There were so many different designs after all and their had to be a reason for the different shapes.  Again I was excited to try out the new model.  Once again nothing.  Not a twitch, not a tingle.  It just felt like something stuck up my butt.  I kept rereading the included instructions and they didn’t seem to be any help.  I didn’t even keep this model around.  I threw it away.  Pissed off I wasted my money.

Over the course of 7 years I bought and threw away well over 10 different models.  I watched a few porn videos with guys demonstrating what they were doing, but non of them ever talked or wrote what they did.  One day I saw a video where the guy was shaking his hips side to side and then something happened.  So I  figured lets give it a try.  And you know what, something did happen.  I felt this weird shaking/buzzing feeling in my legs.  I thought, ok this is progress.  Overtime I got to the point where I would get some heavy breathing and my legs would shake on their own, it wasn’t really pleasure or an orgasm, I just figured that’s what this was all supposed to be.

So I kept the device and would play with it off an on.  I then stumbled across the aneros chat forum on their web site.  Lots of guys discussing what they were doing and experiencing.  Once again from what they were describing, I was still missing out.  Looking back  now, after al these years, I think the only thing that kept me coming back is my sheer stubbornness.  Talking with the various guys I started to learn more about the body and what it is capable of.


I finally met a guy that became sorta like a mentor.  He would give me little homework assignments and exercises to do on my own and then come back with feedback on what happed.  With his instruction and my persistence I went from some mild leg shaking to a full blown Super-O!  It was the scariest thing I had ever experienced in my life and one of the most pleasurable experiences of my life.  My entire body was consumed in pleasure waves, I felt warmth everywhere, the aneros was moving in and out of me on its own, my arms and legs were shaking and vibrating, deep heavy breathing.  And then the colors.  While my eyes were closed I saw this haze almost like an aurora borealis.   Beautiful blues and greens moving around, I could see them, but my eyes were closed.  It was so magical.

I continued to learn more about my body and he said I advanced so quickly that I was a natural, I just needed to know what to do.  While sharing my stories on the aneros chat, I had someone tell me about the cool website that he felt takes you beyond what an aneros can do.  I didn’t see how that was possible, but I asked what is it.  He said its called MINDGASM.  He gave me the website name and I quickly went to check it out.  I was once again excited, could there really be another step to this whole thing?

Discovering Mindgasm; Fears or Folly.

My mind just kept going back to thinking about “something new and big” was out there.  Enough guys on aneros seemed to be having fun.  And for me personally I’m not one to get into all that shakra, third eye, woo woo type stuff as I call it.  No offense,  I don’t knock any one who is, but it’s just not for me.  After talking with several guys on aneros they put my fears to rest about something bad happening.  Having a background in fitness and knowing about the body and muscles, I personally decided to try this out but more so from an muscular and body stand point.  I have seen from my time as a personal trainer how powerful the mind is when someone has a spotter vs not.  I felt like this was the perfect next step after learning aneros and about my own body/prostate region.  


My Mindgasm journey.

I started with lesson one, the music was peaceful and relaxing.  The voice “Allie” at first for me she seemed too fake and distant. I guess I was expecting a human recording.   But over time she became the voice that spoke directly to my source!  And I loved it!  For me, when I started I used my aneros.  This was something familiar for me and it helped me to better understand the muscle movements from the lessons.  Learning about the base for me felt like a no brainer as I had very similar feelings from my aneros days.  I felt I was progressing through the first 3 lessons very quickly.


I was rereading some of the FAQs and saw there was a DISCORD chat.  I was a big newb and had never heard of Discord at the time.  But I enjoyed the aneros chat, so I figured lets join.  When I joined, Allie was on the channel and through conversation I later found out who was the actual creator of Mindgasm, “The Conductor”.  Back then, there were not nearly as many people on the Mindgasm Discord and he had more free time to chat 1-on-1.  If you ask him, I annoyed the living shit out of him asking a million different questions.  What he personally did in a session, how he learned all this, am I doing this right etc.  The insights he gave me were absolutely invaluable and I still use them to this day.  Not only for myself, but for when I help others out on Discord.  The reason I usually know the weird or obscure answers to questions……is because I personally asked him when this was all in its infancy.


I quickly progressed through the lessons.  He gave me sneak peaks of future lessons and let me try things out.  For me Lesson 6 was a game changer.  It blew my mind.  The things I was able to do with my body and experience was out of this world.  I was having full body orgasms, shakes, pulses, seeing colors and stars, you name it!  I’m sure he could tell I was a very goal oriented person and one day during our conversations he told me, how you know you reached the ultimate peak is being able to achieve a Mindgasm without Allie, without any toy and without any music.  Literally just you and you mind.  When I heard this, at first I thought he was crazy.  I relied on those things.  But I set off to achieve just that.  It took me about 3 weeks, but BOOM!  Success, I would have never thought possible.  I literally laid back on my bed, with nothing but my mind and had a Mindgasm, not just a Mindgasm but eventually a Mindasgm Super-o.


SUCCESS!!! I did it.  I was able to have Mindgasms with ease.  I couldn’t believe how easily it all flowed for me.  There were lots of ups and downs.  Lots of learning and key points to be added to my training.  But I did it.  All said, my journey was several months long.  It was not an overnight success.  I slowly started adding in my experiences as help for those on Discord.  There were many that I felt were in a similar position to what I was in when I started.  From my days with aneros I had help, I was lucky to get specific help from the creator of Mindagsm.  So I wanted to do what I could to pay that forward and help others out as well.  By doing this and getting lots and lots of tips, and advice and guidance from The Conductor, I’ve been able to join the team and help others out with their journeys.

Myself: Before vs. After Mindgasm

Learning about myself has been a very slow and long journey.  I continue to learn new and incredible things about myself.  Prior to Mindgasm I thought there was jerking off and maybe a little bit of playing with my prostate.  I figured I would have to find the right girl that would maybe play nice and play around in that area.  As you can see, everything prior to Mindgasm was self focused.  But I learned so much more from Mindgasm.  I learned about listening to the needs of my partner, when you are in the mood vs. not in the mood (its a real thing).  Experiencing pleasure beyond just dick play, Using your mind to aid in overall pleasures.  Overall, I felt like I have grown into a more well rounded sexual being, in tune with my body and those around me.  The best part is that this is ever growing and changing and I am still learning new things.  New mindsets, new techniques, new sensations, etc.  This whole endeavor is a journey and it goes as far as you really want to take it and more.  

Once I had initially achieved a true Mindgasm, I felt invincible and at my peak.  I have learned all that there is to learn . . . that was initially my mentality.  But with time and communication with others that ego centric mentality left.  It left for many reasons.  As The Conductor knows, when I used to pick his brain ALOT, it was very self serving.  But I realized that I had something unique, not only my experiences, but what I had learned as a direct result from drilling down and asking The Conductor every possible annoying question I could think of.  (you can ask him, I was annoying) lol.  But I was lucky that he still answered all my questions.  It was the perfect time though, since Mindgasm was still in it’s infancy and he was not nearly as busy as he is today.   

I was sorta at a crossroad.  I could take all these experiences and new found knowledge and keep it all to myself, or I could help to pay it forward.   And then I realized these simple things about myself . . .  

1.  I wanted to help others achieve what I had achieved. (it was bigger than myself)

2. Not all paths are 100% the same and it is fun to explore what others have explored.

3. There is always something new to learn, no matter your skill level or experience.

How did the learning go?

The learning curve for Mindgasm, like all things, is easy, hard, fast and slow.  There are the ones where it just clicks and makes sense, then there are those who get it, but can’t make it work, and still there are those who want to understand, but that understanding has not arrived for them yet.  The hardest thing in this journey is seeing the success of others when you are not there yet.  I know it’s hard not to, but you can not compare your success and your journey with that of others.  We all have our speed to success and it is all different, but with time, practice and patience, we can all get to that finish line.


For my on my journey I had moments of both easy and hard.  Because of my aneros experience the underlying feelings and understanding those, were easy.  I was lucky on day one to get some pleasure pulsing from THE BIG SQUEEZE.  But those were familiar to me.  Then my doubtful mind creeped in.  Am I squeezing to hard, am I squeezing too long, what has the Conductor done, am I doing this right like what he did?  All these thoughts and more began to creep in.  And guess what happened…..nothing.  I got in my own way and in my own head.  That was the hard part, I understood the muscle part, but I did have a struggle of fulling letting go.  With encouragement from The Conductor, I learned to not doubt myself.  I learned to fully let go and be in that moment.  And that’s when I saw bigger improvements.

Growing Pleasures & Getting Unstuck

For me since I had some past experience with anal play, especially with my aneros, I was able to find and feel deep source pulses pretty much right away.  This felt great and was very familiar to me.  So I felt positive that I was on the right track.   At the time I started, there was just the basic 5 lessons.  Lesson 6 or the amazing Stairway to Heaven were simply an unknown idea.  I went from lesson 1 to lesson 5 in about a week and a half.  I went from some good deep internal pulsing to developing a large swath of sensations that grew and expanded to incorporate my whole body.  Buzzing or a constant vibration feeling was the norm for me, even after a lesson.  I knew I was on my way to rewiring myself and that I had awakened the beast that was my sleeping source.

The constant buzzing was a bit un-nerving at first, but after reading The Conductor’s blog on it, I felt much better.  And he was right, with time, that became my new norm and something I got used to.  Later I was able to call upon that buzzing and make it more pronounced as my skill level improved.  I became more self aware of my body and even the tiniest of sensations.  I began to visualize my body more, to match with what I was feeling.   For me visualization greatly helped me advance in my learning/training sessions.  I could see my source in my mind, see the muscles contract and pulse.  And like lightning, I could see that sexual energy spread outward from it.

Soon the rest of my body began to join in, my hands would shake on their own, my legs would kick and draw up toward my body.  A big sign that I was gonna have something big happen, was that I would dig my hips deep down into the bed.  Like I was trying to escape from the intense pleasure I was feeling begin to grow.  I would feel a warmth spread over me.  My breathing got faster as did my heart rate.  I would leak a lot of fluid.  Oddly I would vary from being so hard I felt like it was gonna split open to being 100% flaccid.  Yet the sensations kept coming, so no longer was stiffness or lack there of, an indication of pleasure.  I got crazy vocal, I found being vocal helped me to open up and lower my guard and raise up my pleasure experiences.  I said things I never thought I would say.  I’m pretty sure my neighbors were needing a cigarette after my sessions sometimes.

I found myself in a good rhythm or sync with Allie, what she said and the music that was playing, my orgasms usually matched up well or sometimes even jumped ahead of her, lol.  As she commanded and the music increased, so did my experiences.  It was like I had my own live orgasm soundtrack that matched perfectly to what I was experiencing.


Now it may sound like I was 100% pleasure all the time.  I wish that was the case.  When I first started, I was spending a minimum of an hour per session.  I had to warm up for at least 20-30 minutes before I would even start to feel anything.  I would get impatient, I was still wanting that instant gratification like jerking off.  There were many days where my mind was preoccupied and not a thing happened during that session.  I would be stressed and almost demand my body respond how I wanted it to.  The harder I tried and expected results the deader my body felt.  It was even worse once I started to experience some real good orgasms.  Now I had a taste and I wanted more.  How do I get something again without trying to get it again.  That’s all I kept hearing.  You have to practice to get it, but not want it, but be open to it…….talk about chasing your tail.  So what happened for me to change these issues, you may ask.  Lots of trial and error and lots of asking questions from The Conductor.  I had to get that reassurance I was doing things right and when I wasn’t, I sometimes needed it pointed out to me.


What did I Iearn from it all?

From lots of trial and error, learning my body, & learning my mind, I learned to better control it all.  I had to get out of my own headspace, I had to let things go.  I began to follow these simple rules that I established for myself and they helped me dramatically in achieving success. (This was essential during my rewiring)


  • Practice for at least 20 min. per session.
  • After 30 min. to an hour max of practicing, If nothing happens at all, stop and try again another day. (Don’t spend hours and hours and try to force something.)
  • Breath!  Deep slow breaths helped to calm the body and mind.  It helped to relax me when I would tense up.
  • Don’t jerk off a lot. (a few days of an abstinence build up worked wonders for me)
  • Keep the focus on your source and your new sensations.  Keep the focus off your penis.
  • Take rest days.  Just like any workout, your body and muscles need to recover from time to time.
  • If your mind is occupied with life issues, don’t bother trying for a session.
  • SCREAM.  Allow yourself to be loud, if you have to stay quiet, you are holding yourself back and preventing a potential amazing experience.

Could I have done this all on my own?

Could I have found aspects of what I have learned?  I’m sure with enough time, its possible.   But with the step by step training, the music, and a guide that went with me along the way, I don’t see how I could have achieved on my own, what I am capable of doing now.  The basics of the first 5 lessons were great.  But what else was their really left to experience?  I was lucky enough to get a sneak peak of lesson 6.  The Conductor told me to not use my aneros for this lesson.  Up to this point I had been using my aneros.  I thought that my aneros was key.  Boy was I wrong.  Lesson 6 was an absolute mind blowing game changer.  The level of intensity was out of this world.  It took me only 2 different sessions and I did it.  I had my first ever full blown Mindgasm.

The orgasm literally crawled up my spine, up to my head and reached over on to my face.  I felt this warmth and light shine down on me.  My whole body was quivering and shaking.  My eyes were closed and yet I saw these star bursts shooting out.  My hands quivering and the noises I made.  I made these crazy deep guttural animalistic noises.  I had these deep hard contractions around my source and the same time this wave of contractions all around it.  It spread outward.   I was arching my back so hard I was barely touching the bed.  I was terrified.  I never knew I could reach these levels of pleasure.  Time slowed down, it felt like 20 minutes of a non stop orgasm.  I started to get worried it would never stop.  I tried to relax and stop it, but nothing happened.  I was not in control.  It just kept going and going and going.  It was the longest orgasm I had ever experienced.  Suddenly it all began to subside.  And I was left breathless with a smile from ear to ear.  But seconds later…BOOM!  It all came back even harder.  I had no idea this was possible.  I had 3 Super-O Mindgasms back to back.  One of the craziest experiences of my life.  There is no way, I could have achieved anything like that, on my own.

Impact of the Discord Community

Now a days I find myself offering tips often on Discord, and I have found the community to be amazing helpers.  So many people have shared with me their amazing stories.  And I still pick up new tips or tricks that others have found work well for them.  I find myself still exploring.  The community is an amazing team with all levels of expertise eager to share, help, and learn.  This community has helped to shape Mindgasm into what it is today.  The User ideas, suggestions and feedback have been invaluable.  Sparking new sessions, new discussions and new techniques.  I want thank EVERYONE, as you have all made great contributions in your own way to this Discord Community.

Controlling the Mind vs Controlling the Body

I have learned that the mind is an amazing thing.  You can do so much with just the power of your mind.  When coupled with proper muscle techniques you can find yourself in a world of new sensations.  You can grow and explore ALWAYS.  Whether it be what the mind can do, what the body can do, or both.  After achieving my Mindgasm Super-O’s, The Conductor gave me a personal final challenge.  This didn’t mean I had not found success or that I needed to reach a certain new level.  This challenge ended up teaching me still.  The challenge was to achieve a full Mindgasm on my own.  He meant, no Allie, no toy, and no music.  Just me and my mind, 100% on my own.  I honestly doubted myself initially.  I thought this to be a crazy notion.  There was no way this could be possible.  But I set off to try. I kept practicing, remembering the basics.  I was surprised at how fast I was able to start feeling sensations.  But after about a week or week and a half….. SUCCESS.  I did it!  I achieved a full Mindgasm 100% solo.  Just me and my mind.  I was blown away that this was possible.  It was a struggle, there were a few days of some dud sessions.  But I kept practicing and kept remembering what I had learned and applied it.  I remember back to when I was first able to bring up that fun little mild buzzing sensation and how I later grew and improved to being able to have a Mindgasm orgasm with just my mind in under a minute.  With time, practice, patience and a willingness to give up control and not let your doubts control you, anything is possible.  Everyone starts with a Day 1, but after that . . . . the skies the limit!

I hope that everyone enjoyed my retrospective of Mindgasm and my own little journey.  There was a lot more to my journey, but these were some of the big highlights.  I hope you all have fun on your journey!  I’m looking forward to hearing about your own path to success in the Discord Community.

Thanks for reading,

Advanced Player (AP)