To fap or not to fap - should I stop masturbation
TLDR; If you progress well with Mindgasm, there’s nothing wrong with regular masturbation or finishing off a good session with a HFWO (hands free wet orgasm). But if you struggle to advance on your journey or feel like you are even regressing, your first step should be to stop fapping and try to abstain from classic orgasms (CO) and ejaculations. This will have the biggest impact by far, compared to other methods.
Why stopping masturbation helps
As described in this article, you are trying to re-wire your brain to receive and understand new signals that come from a different place (your source) than those leading to a classic (penis/clitoris).
So put simple: Every CO (classic orgasm) maintains or strengthens the neural pathway from your penis/clit to your brain. And at the same time you keep neglecting this new emerging connection from your source to your brain. You need to walk new paths to create new pathways .
How long should I stop classic orgasms
As long as you can take it. Or until you reach a new milestone on your Mindgasm journey.
If you are used to regular, even daily masturbation, just going a few days without will already sharpen your senses a lot. Try to go without a CO as long as you can. All while paying close attention to your body’s responses, to the changes in your perception, how you can suddenly feel tingles in your source whenever you get aroused – which will happen a lot more. Then work with these new sensations. Feeling tingles? Start a Mindgasm-session, focussing on them.
It's okay to "relapse"
If you struggle to restrain longer than 2-3 days, you might be addicted to the dopamin rush of the classic orgasm and/or watching porn. This problem is surprisingly common and ignored in the western world. And it’s worth to get this sorted out. There’s nothing wrong with a good old wank every now and then, but for many this becomes compulsive. Mindgasm can help you regain control over these urges, redirecting them to a more healthy and sustainable form of pleasure.
So get rid of your usual triggers (usually porn). And just go 2 days without CO at first. Notice the changes in your source. Then do 3 days. Try to go longer every time and, whenever the urge becomes overwhelming, just do the Mindgasm exercises. And when you finally can’t hold it anymore, accept it and really enjoy it – it’ll likely be much more intense after the wait. Try to incorporate some Mindgasm contractions in the buildup and the CO itself! Don’t let a relapse drag your mood down, it’s difficult and at you are trying your best – that’s all that counts!
By the way: males might experience wet dreams when restraining. This is perfectly normal, and no reason to ‘reset’ your daycount.
So you might think: “Hey, as long as I just don’t cum, I can keep masturbating and stop before I reach the PoNR (Point of No Return)”. This is called edging. Don’t fall into this trap. You’ll get the worst of both worlds: You won’t get any relief like from the CO. And you will erase most of the re-wiring that you already achieved and the new, fragile neural pathways from your source to your brain will die off.
Edging is not worth it!
What about sex with a partner?
To get the best result it’s best to restrain completely from classic orgasms and stimulation. But if you are in a relationship, this can put quite a strain on your partner. So make sure he/she’s in on your journey and accepts it. Find alternative ways to pleasure your partner if called for. Make sure your partner still feels loved and sexy!
Your partner should always come first (no pun intended) – but this goes both ways. So your partner should also try to understand and accept what you are trying to achieve. The best idea is probably to just go this journey together.
Btw: Especially for males with a higher sexdrive than her, just toning it down, not initiating so often might have a surprising effect, and raise her libido. If that happens: Don’t let the general “no orgasm”-advice of this article stand in your way. Enjoy it! In the end this journey is about leading a happier and more fulfilled sexlife overall. The Mindgasm should be seen as pleasurable byproduct.