“Just let go.” Three simple words that might as well be written in an ancient, untranslatable language for all the clarity they provide. You’ve been there – lying back, muscles alternating between tense and relaxed, mind racing despite your best efforts to quiet it. The promised waves of pleasure remain frustratingly distant mirages.
You follow the instructions precisely: relax your body, clear your mind, surrender control. Yet the more desperately you chase this elusive “letting go,” the further it slips away. Each attempt becomes a masterclass in contradiction – trying to control your uncontrolling, monitoring your surrender, analyzing your release. The irony would be amusing if it weren’t so frustrating.
This is the real paradox of letting go:
When you try hard to let go, you’re actually holding on tighter. It’s just like when you can’t sleep—the more you focus on falling asleep, the more awake you stay. Your effort becomes the very thing blocking your goal. During a Mindgasm session, your mind transforms into a well-meaning surveillance system, monitoring your progress: “Am I relaxed enough now? Is this what letting go feels like?” What begins as an attempt to surrender gradually shifts into a hyper-vigilant control mission.
These check-ins create a cycle where you attempt to surrender, assess your progress, adjust your approach, and try again. This mental engagement keeps you in your head rather than in your sensations—precisely the opposite of the mindstate that opens the door to pleasure.
The real challenge isn’t about how much you can relax or surrender—it’s about where you place your attention. Let’s explore an alternative approach through some examples.
Understanding our brain’s focus.
Have you ever been told “Don’t think about pink elephants”? What immediately popped into your mind? Pink elephants, right? This simple example reveals something fascinating about our brains: they don’t process negatives well. When we focus on what we don’t want, that’s exactly what captures our attention.
The Skier’s Secret
Think about expert skiers navigating through trees. Beginners often think “don’t hit the trees” and guess what? They keep almost hitting trees! But experienced skiers? They focus on the snowy path between the trees. They see the way forward, not the obstacles.
Applying this to Mindgasm Practice
NEGATIVE THOUGHT
When we struggle with “letting go”, we often:
- Worry about not letting go
- Focus on obstacles
- Think about what isn’t happening
- Stress about doing it wrong
This creates a negative feedback loop, and puts our minds into a cycle where we’re actually focusing on what we don’t want, making it harder to achieve our goals.
POSITIVE THOUGHT
Instead of thinking about “letting go,” focus on:
- Trusting the process & the guidance
- Attention to all sensations, big & small
- Being in the moment with the techniques
- Enjoying the journey & avoid analyzing
See how already the focus is a positive one just by changing your mental approach. This is where you can generate a postive feedback loop.
The path to success isn’t about avoiding obstacles – it’s about following the clear route that’s already laid out for you through the guided instructions. You just need to shift your focus from what’s in the way to where you want to go.
Think of it this way: You’re not trying to “not hit trees” – you’re simply following the snow path. You’re not trying to “let go” – you’re simply following the sensations. When you shift your perspective from avoidance to engagement, everything changes. The goal isn’t absence (of control, of thought, of effort) but presence—being fully immersed in what is, rather than fighting against what isn’t.
This redirection of focus requires practice, patience, and persistence. Just as a novice skier evolves into an expert through dedicated practice runs down the mountain, your ability to follow sensations rather than chase the concept of “letting go” develops over time. At first, you’ll catch yourself overthinking – analyzing every subtle shift in your body, wondering if you’re “doing it right.” This is normal and part of the learning curve.
With consistent practice, something remarkable happens. The conscious effort to follow sensations gradually becomes automatic. Your awareness slides into a flow state where you’re no longer directing the experience but witnessing it unfold. Your body knows what to do without your mind’s constant supervision. The music, the guidance, and the physical sensations merge into a single, unified experience.
This effortless awareness – where you’re present without forcing presence, where you’re responsive without controlling responses – is the true essence of letting go. It’s not something you achieve through deliberate action but something that emerges when you stop getting in your own way.
The irony is beautiful: true letting go occurs not when you’re fixated on the concept of surrender, but when you’re so absorbed in following the path of sensation that you’ve forgotten about the need to let go at all. This is the natural state your body wants to access—you simply need to remove the mental obstacles and redirect your focus to allow it to follow the flow.
The mastery lies not in forcing yourself to release control, but in practicing the art of following what feels good until it becomes second nature. That’s when the deepest pleasures of Mindgasm become not just possible, but inevitable.
Enjoy the journey!
• The Oracle
THE DISTRACTION METHOD: A STREAMLINED TUTORIAL
Four Simple Steps to Truly Letting Go
Step 1: Set the Stage
• Find comfort, breathe deeply (in-nose, out-mouth)
• Release tension with each exhale
• Add music or a Mindgasm lesson
Step 2: Find Your Sweet Spot
• Maintain muscles at medium tension (6-7/10)
• Keep your squeeze consistent and breathing steady
Step 3: Tune Into Subtlety
• Notice muscle fatigue developing
• Focus exclusively on the smallest sensations:
Tiny vibrations, subtle buzzing, gentle pulses
• Deliberately ignore larger contractions
Step 4: Amplify Through Attention
• Acknowledge pleasant sensations, (sounds such as moaning are welcome)
• Position legs wider than shoulders
• Direct all focus to those tiny, deep sensations
The Golden Rules
1. Follow, don’t force – Like a skier following the path between trees
2. Small sensations matter most – They’re your gateway to deeper pleasure
3. Let your mind be distracted by awareness – Not controlled by analysis
Success comes when you’re no longer trying to let go, but simply following sensations.
The experience builds slowly but can become wonderfully intense.
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