This is the one issue that comes up most often for beginners.
And the quick response is: This is normal. It naturally feels the same in the beginning because until now you’ve usually just flexed both whenever you needed any one of them. Just keep trying. With training and raising awareness the distinction will slowly emerge over the next weeks.
The Base (Anus/Sphincter)
The base muscle is basically the sphincter that closes your anus and that keeps it shut (even when you are not actively trying to close it.)
Try to keep an imaginary fart in. 😉 That contraction is what you need to do, when asked to “flex your base”. Every human is familiar with this contraction.
The Center (PC-Muscle)
The Center is a bit less know, but you still use it regularly and on purpose.
You use it when you need to pee, but have to hold it in. The contraction to hold it in is done by your pc-muscle. To get familiar with it you can repeatedly stop the flow when you are peeing a few times. Stop, let go, stop, let go again. If you can’t, this shows that your muscle isn’t strong enough.
Males often use it to bounce their penis up when having an erection. This feels like “pumping” it. Some train it by putting a light towel on their erection, with the goal to lift it. Focus on this contraction during normal masturbation or intercourse is often used to come quicker – many men don’t even realize this and do it subconsciously. Becoming aware and gaining control over this has the nice benefit that you can stop pumping it and deliberately relax your pc muscle, which will make you last a lot longer during normal intercourse.
These two examples should help you to get familiar with how a center flex feels like.
The big issue for newcomers and intermediate Mindgasmers is that whenever you try to flex just the Base, the Center will automatically flex together with it. And vice versa. So if a beginner does a level 10 Base Flex, the Center will shadowflex at a level 9 or even 10 too – and it feels like everything is flexing together.
This is perfectly normal. If you get the shadowflex
down to a level 8 within the first weeks, you’re doing great. Know that even a multiorgasmic “Pro” still encounters Shadowflexes around a level 5. Getting them below that is achieved rarely and 100% distinction probably impossible.
And it is not necessary! All you need to learn is the difference between how to trigger a Base and a Center flex. And the difference in the sensations that this causes. Don’t mind the overlap. Shadowflexes are fine and everyone experiences them
Fake it till you make it
And if you feel like you really struggle: This struggle is part of the preparation to get you into the right mindset for later lessons. Turning your focus inside, starting to listen for the subtle differences and sensations. Your motto should be: Fake it till you make it. Just use the different mental images (stop a fart vs hold pee or bounce erection). It will become more distinct and at some point it’ll click for you as it does for everyone else who keeps trying. Keep having fun along the way!
And always feel free to ask your questions to the Mindgasm-Discord community!