That Was Underwhelming, Now What?

You just finished your session and you’re sitting there wondering what all the fuss was about. You’ve read the success stories, maybe even the intense first-time experiences we described in other blogs or posts, and what you just experienced was… nothing like that. Maybe you felt some subtle sensations, or maybe you felt nothing at all.

Right now, you might be asking yourself: “Is something wrong with me? What did I do wrong?,. Did I waste that precious first Lesson 6 listen? Am I just not capable of this?”

Take a deep breath. You haven’t wasted anything, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. Sometimes the timing just isn’t right, and that’s completely okay. You’re going to get there.

Be aware that some days are simply different. No two days are ever the same and sometimes nothing happens, even if you did “everything right”. It may come as a surprise but even the very experienced practitioners have days where more or less nothing happened for them, eventhough they have done the Eternal Flame multiple times. This is perfectly normal and can happen from time to time, so don’t allow yourself to get frustrated thinking you did something wrong.

Why It Felt Underwhelming

Your experience (or lack of experience) likely falls into one of these common scenarios: unrealistic expectations, life stresses, confidence issues, overthinking, or simply that Allie’s guidance doesn’t match your unique learning style. Each one is completely normal.

Expectations vs. Reality: When success stories set the bar too high for your first attempt.

Success stories and intense testimonials can create unrealistic expectations for your first attempt
Reading about transcendent experiences sets a bar that’s impossibly high for many beginners
The gap between expectation and reality creates immediate disappointment

Life Got in the Way: Sometimes your mind and body just aren’t in the right space for this kind of exploration.

You were stressed, distracted, or dealing with other concerns
Your environment wasn’t quite right; too noisy, wrong timing, or interruptions
Your body and mind simply weren’t in the receptive state needed for this kind of exploration

Confidence and Self-Doubt: Assuming you’re “doing it wrong” before you’ve even given yourself a real chance.

Questioning every sensation: “Is this right? Is this what I’m supposed to feel?”
Lack of confidence in your ability to experience pleasure in this new way
Overthinking every moment instead of allowing yourself to simply feel

Over Thinking: Your analytical mind took over when you needed to simply feel and experience.

Overanalyzing what should be happening rather than focusing on what is happening
Constantly comparing your experience to others’ descriptions
Thinking your way through the process instead of feeling your way through it

The “One Size Fits All” Problem: The guided narration works for many people, but your body might respond differently.

Guided narration works for many people, but not everyone responds the same way
What she describes might not match your unique neurological wiring or learning style
Her timing, pace, or specific instructions might not align with how your body responds

Remember: there’s no universal experience here. Your path will be uniquely yours.

Should I Try Again?

Absolutely, but let’s first address the elephant in the room.

Over time, our community has unintentionally put The Eternal Flame on a pedestal, creating this myth that your “first listen is crucial.” This belief evolved organically as people shared their breakthrough stories, but honestly, it’s gone a bit too far. Let’s take that pressure off right now, it’s completely okay if your first attempt was underwhelming. You did not ruin your journey, so take a deep breath and know it’s going to be okay.

Here’s what “Eternal Flame” is actually designed to do: help you shift from physical feelings to mental focus. The goal isn’t to have a mind-blowing orgasm on your first try. The goal is simply to remember how a physical squeeze feels and then start to recreate that feeling mentally.

The first listen can be incredibly powerful. The surprise and the newness of the mental technique can trigger immediate breakthroughs for some. That’s why we’ve always said ‘wait until you’re ready’—to maximize your chances for that experience. But that possibility has warped into an expectation that it should happen for everyone, instantly. And that pressure is what we need to remove.

What Actually Matters

Even if your session wasn’t pleasurable, if you attempted to mentally flex, you likely felt something, even if it was subtle or different from what you expected. **That “something” is enough for a start.**

Try this: Do a small 20sec exercise right now – While you are looking on this screen, focus entirely on the tip of your nose. Focus on the sensation at the tip, imagine you feel an itch there that you need to scratch, only you cant touch it. Does a sensation appear and begin to get more intense? This is the same principle of lessen 6 with an easy approach. You did it for the first time, you didnt read about it before. You did it without any expectations. And it worked.

Here’s the really fascinating part about mental focus: when you picture an action like lifting your arm, MRI scans show that your brain lights up the same neural pathways as when you actually lift your arm. The same principle applies to mental muscle flexes. Even if you didn’t feel obvious sensations, you were building the neural foundation for everything that comes next.

What This Means:

You have the foundation: Mental flexing activated something, even if barely perceptible
Small sensations are victories: They will grow if you give them space and time
Neural pathways need development: Building these connections takes weeks or months, not minutes
Progress isn’t linear: Each “failed” session actually teaches your brain something valuable

Shifting Your Approach

Instead of forcing experiences to match others’ descriptions, try these key mindset shifts:

From Forcing to Allowing

Stop trying to make something specific happen and focus on whatever sensations do arise, no matter how small
Let curiosity replace expectation

Recognize ANY Sensation as Progress

Slight tingling, warmth, feeling “different,” or changes in breathing during mental flexes
Any sensation connected to your mental focus counts as a win

Set Realistic Expectations

Think weeks to months, not minutes to hours
Consistency matters more than intensity, some people need dozens of sessions before breakthrough moments

Celebrate the Process

Pay attention to what mental flexing actually feels like for you, not what it “should” feel like
Any sensation, no matter how minor, is progress worth celebrating

When to Persist vs. When to Take Breaks

Take a break when:

You’re feeling frustrated or pressured
Sessions feel like work rather than exploration
You’re constantly comparing yourself to others
Life stress is making relaxation impossible

Keep practicing when:

You feel even the slightest sensations during mental flexes
You’re genuinely curious about the process
You can maintain a relaxed, experimental mindset
You have the time and mental space for consistent practice

Building Your Mind-Body Connection

Remember these fundamentals as you continue:

Thoughts trigger physical responses: Your brain doesn’t distinguish between imagined and real muscle movements
Subtlety leads to intensity: Every intense mindgasm started with barely perceptible sensations
Your nervous system is learning: Each session builds neural pathways, even “unsuccessful” ones
Patience can be your superpower: The people with the most profound experiences are sometimes those who took the longest to get there