User Story 02 - Sweet Spot Found
User Story by HouseMD 11/17/23
Struggle with Addiction
So I’m getting married in a few weeks and the only issue in our relationship ever has been my porn/masturbation addiction. Learned mindgasm stuff over the past year or so but was still jerking off regularly between sessions and neglecting my fiancee. After really leveling up my skills to the point I could reliably HFDO consistently, the desire to touch my cock has gone down a lot, but my porn brain would still drive me to do it.
Started experimenting with chastity play at around the same time to help with mindgasm, but my brain was still very addicted to PMO. After a while abstaining and doing MG stuff, whenever I’d have an ejaculatory orgasm, I’d inevitably be left disappointed, but those mental pathways were still wired very strong.
Challenges and Realizations
I did my longest ever streak in chastity/without cumming a couple of months ago (2.5 weeks) and the intensity of my MG sessions went way up, but I still was craving the elusive nut which turned into trying to force an HFWO as the duration of time without nutting continued. I relapsed at the end of that time, and I really realized that for me personally, the act of ejaculating makes me crave PMO even more – I’d often times relapse into heavy PMO after having sex with my SO. During that relapse time, I actually vaguely managed to force an HFWO (edged myself and then pushed myself over the PONR with anal stimulation), and I realized that… it was just another disappointing penile orgasm.
Breakthrough and Recovery
I’m on a really really good streak right now (over 2 weeks), and I am pretty certain I can continue indefinitely. I’ve learned to channel that craving to cum into warmth and fire in my source, and my sessions lately have been unbelievable, including two super O’s with my fiancee that left me absolutely hoarse afterward. My fiancee can have me wherever and whenever she wants – I’m always ready to go after a couple of weeks without cumming. I don’t try to force an HFWO anymore because I did that, and it was completely underwhelming.
Progress and Hope
I haven’t been able to stay away from porn, even though I’ve stayed away from masturbating, and that’s the next full step, but I can watch for like 5-10 minutes without touching myself and actually walk away – I never could do that in the past, and I don’t get the extreme negatives that come with jerking off to porn (huge dopamine/mood drop, no chance of doing anything productive that day).
My relationship with my partner is the best it’s ever been leading up to the marriage, which is a fantastic place to be, and my PMO addiction was holding me back hugely in every single aspect of life – I can’t say I’ve escaped it until I haven’t peeked in forever, but I can tell even if I’m still exposing myself, the same pathways aren’t getting that crazy reinforcement and the negative flow-on effects to the other areas of my life from it are almost completely gone, if not completely gone.
Gratitude and Acknowledgment
So thank you @The Conductor, @The Architect, @A.I.Allie, @Advanced Player, and everyone else in the project – if my life hasn’t been completely turned around, you pointed the ship in the right direction at the very least.
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