That’s okay, you’ll get there.
You usually don’t need independent controll of these muscles and naturally contract both together.

But everyone can learn to distinct them:

The Base is your Sphincter.
You contract it to pinch a loaf or stop a fart. 
When you contract it with a toy inserted, it will pull it deeper inside, towards your prostate.

The Center is your PC-Muscle
You use it to stop urinating mid-flow. To train it, make it a habit to stop and resume your flow 5-10 when you go peeing.

The more you try to flex these muscles on their own, the better you will get at this. It’s a skill that you have to train and learn.
Some are naturals but others may need up to 1-2 months before they get basic control.

Enjoy the journey!

You are trying to rewire your brain and activate existing but never used neural pathways from your G-Spot (Prostate) to your brain.
Touching your penis will make this rewiring very difficult, as it will overpower the new, subtle sensations.

It’s okay to end a good session with a classic ejaculation. Especially with a massager inserted it’s likely to feel much more intense than your usual release.

Reaching a mindgasm is a journey inwards. You’ll need all your focus to become aware of the beautiful things that happen inside.
Especially for beginners, porn is far too distracting and will pull your attention away from where it’s needed.

Many users reported that it made a huge difference for them to go NoFap when starting with Mindgasms. This means:

• No porn consumption
• no (penile) masturbation
• no ejaculation

For a certain amount of time. Allie recommends at least 2 weeks – but the longer the better. The effects of this:

• Your senses will sharpen
• your sexual energy will build up
• You’ll feel more energized and motivated

If giving up fapping sounds for over a week sounds daunting to you, it is likely that you have developed a porn addiction.
To prove this wrong, just try it for two weeks and see if you notice any difference. 

Mindgasm can be learned and achieved without using any toys.

There are prostate massagers designed specifically for this purpose. They make it a lot easier to feel the effects of your contractions on your G-Spot.
They need no vibration because your muscles will grip the massager and transfer any movement directly to your G-Spot.

Don’t use vibrating toys unless you already are advanced. The strong, constant vibration will numb you to the subtle natural pleasures.